For an entire year.
Doesn't God have more to teach me than just one word? Just one thing?
That's what I thought at first. But then a word came to me. It was strong and purposeful. I even had plans for a new tattoo to celebrate my year of living this one word! But you know what they say about the plans of mice and men.
The more I leaned toward it, the more God kept putting another in my way. And yes, I do mean 'in my way' because I was pretty adamant I had found my one word. He definitely had other plans for me though. Everything I read from that point forward spoke of something other than what I had chosen. And as I looked back on my previous posts, I realized I had already begun to embrace this one word.
Well, embrace may not really be the best way to describe what's going on between trust and I. We are only 8 days in and I have already failed miserably. Many times. If the last 8 days are any indication this is going to be one hell of a year for me. I'm going to have to fight my natural inclination to control my relationships and situations in my life.
I'm going to have to risk being hurt.
The dictionary defines trust as the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing. Well, that one has blown up in my face more times than I care to recount. In my experience, trusting people only leads to heartache.
Yet, God was still telling me to trust.
One of the Hebrew words for trust is b'tach. If you take a look at the Hebrew letters this is comprised of you get a picture of being on the inside (bet), surrounded (tet), and protected (chet). So, according to this word picture, trust could be defined as abiding and resting inside the goodness of God; protected, embraced and surrounded by His compassion and favor.
I had to sit with this one for a while. Not at all what I was expecting. Trust and protected in the same sentence. Embraced and surrounded by a Savior who is safe. A Savior who wants to take all the rest when I have given all I have. A Savior who, when my trust has been shattered like glass, is there to pick up all the pieces. Fashioning a mosaic with His own hand that now reflects beauty out of my brokenness. I can trust Him because His heart beats for me.
When I trust Him, I can be fearless.
When I trust Him, I can truly embrace all He has for me to learn.
When I trust Him, I can risk being hurt. I can love, because as the Lover of my soul, I can trust Him to take care of my heart.
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life."