"When I tell you the things I love about you, accept what I'm saying. Don't shrug it off." I want to shrug it off. He knows me. He's right. Accepting the caress of grace can be terrifying. Why is it so hard just to let love?" (Ann Voskamp, A Holy Experience)
Accepting the caress of grace can be terrifying. Opening myself up to the possibility of being hurt. This is where I struggle the most - trusting the person who loves me the most. I don't accept it because I don't feel as if I deserve it. I'm not beautiful. I'm not talented. I'm not creative. I'm not lovable. I don't trust that I am any of those things. How can anyone mean them when they say them about me?
And what do I do if they are never said?
He whispers, trust more.
My husband wraps me in his arms. Our tears mingle in our kiss - whispering there is Hope - that I can always trust Hope. During a particularly difficult time early in our marriage I would wake up in the middle of the night to find him holding my hand. A simple thing, yes, but hope nonetheless. Hope that we would find our way. God-whispered hope that I could hold onto. Hope that I could trust.
And still He whispers, trust more.
Trust Him enough to face my insecurities.
His love for me is not conditional - I am lovable. He is, after all, the Lover of my soul. He never forgets who I am. His is the only validation I need because He gifted me. I am creative because He created me. I am never an afterthought to Him. He is always for me.
"He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me."
I am abiding and resting inside His goodness; protected, embraced and surrounded by His compassion and favor. He is always there holding my hand in the quiet of the night. Whispering hope like a lover.
I can trust Him to take care of my heart.
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life."