I began blogging in October of 2012. It has been enlightening for me as I have worked out my feelings about church and faith. Some of this journey has been messy and hasn’t seemed to make a whole lot of sense. Yet some of this journey has been messy in that holy, rebuilding from the ground up kind of way. I’ve learned a lot about myself and still find I don’t know all that much. This quote really does sum up how I see myself…
“When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and I get discouraged, I love and I hate. I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and I am suspicious. I am honest and I still play games…
To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story.”
I am all of these and none. A contradiction of chaos and grace. Always wandering, always longing for and searching for grace. I am an expert at throwing stones and this tends to get in the way of that whole grace thing. But slowly, as I dwell in this wilderness, I am learning to find grace in the ordinary, everyday moments.
I am making a conscious effort to look for the extraordinary in the ordinary moments. The beauty in the everyday. Knowing that the God who creates beauty in the ordinary, loves me enough to always be there.
“There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the incarnation.” Madeleine L’Engle
I am seeing his fingerprints in all things sacred and secular. And beginning to think that the more we try and separate the two, we lose more and more of who he is. I’m at a point in my life where I have more questions than answers. My faith in religion has come crashing down all around me and in the chaos, in the everyday, I’m noticing more true glimpses of grace.
And it’s a beautiful thing.
I don’t know appears to be a theme for me these days. A phrase that has struck a chord with me this past year is be still and know. It has been difficult for me to actually put that into practice. But I am learning to embrace the stillness but also the knowing that comes after the and. I’m taking the time to sit still in this dying in order to know that new life is around the corner. Knowing that being still is not all there is. The and says that there is more to the story. More to my story. It’s time to let that story write itself in the way that it’s meant to. Hopefully finding my way back to assurance. Not because I’ve bought into someone else’s experience, but because I’ve lived my own. I want my faith to be hard earned. A living, breathing, progressive thing that’s borne out of the stillness. A faith that continues to grow after the and.
These are the stories you will find here in my new little corner of the internet. That and more of the Beauty in the Everyday. Please take the time to look around. My hope is that you find the beauty; something that will encourage you, make you laugh or simply let you know you are not alone. This is after all, the purpose and power of story.
“We need to look hard at the stories we create, and wrestle with them.
Retell and retell them, and work with them like clay.
It is in the retelling and returning that they give us their wisdom.”
I’m an introvert longing for connection. Wanting to be fully known and loved. And that’s a difficult thing for me. I love sharing my story and finding me too moments in the stories of others.
I get a lot of satisfaction in taking a blank space and making it look like home. Those blank spaces could be anything from rooms in my home, pages on my blog, pages in my scrapbook, or the blank canvas waiting for a photograph. I love to sing though I haven’t done so in a very long time. It’s still something that pulls at me every day. I love music and books and can get lost in either very easily. I don’t love a bookstore…give me an old library or a room full of old books. Something about the history found there, the sense of those that occupied those spaces and held those books intrigues me. An old house, an old church or cemetery have the same pull for me.
I live just south of Nashville, Tn by way of Alabama, Georgia, Texas, Florida and Scotland. I’m a diehard Alabama fan and proudly fly my Crimson Tide flag from my front porch!
I have five great kids, all in spite of me and my attempts at parenting. You would think after five, I would have this parenting thing down, but no. I learn from them and about myself everyday because of them. They are as different as their ages; 33, 30, 21, 19 and 12. They are strong and self-assured – each very much their own person. Just when I think I couldn’t love them more or be any prouder of them than I already am, something happens to surprise me. They are one of those blank pages that create home for me.
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” — Maya Angelou
We’ve been together for more than 38yrs. and married for almost 36. More than half of our lives. This man is definitely the better half in this story. George can make a guitar sing the melody of emotion like no one else I know. He’s talented and gentle, always seeing the best in others. He’s the half-full glass to my own half-empty one. I love him more than I have words to express and am the better for it. I’ll leave you with a little something I wrote a few years ago for our anniversary: An Image Yet Unfinished