I am Eve’s daughter in all of the obvious ways. I have walked unashamed in the garden with God. Shared all of the ugly, broken pieces of my heart with Him. And I was becoming comfortable with my brokenness, trusting He was fashioning something beautiful out of the chaos.
Then some really shitty stuff happened. And my trust wavered . . .
There are moments when I know He is here. Moments when I know there are things I can learn from all of this. Things that are necessary for me to learn. There are days I find myself walking alone, wondering where He is. Wandering aimlessly, waiting to hear His voice again. Needing to know why this is happening. And much like Eve, I find myself listening to the serpent.
All this shit that’s happening? It’s your own fault. You deserve every hurt, every heartache. None of these things would have happened to you if you had been more attractive. More desirable. More talented. More creative. More willing to love. More trustworthy. More apt to give grace instead of judgement.
Where can I flee from your presence?
and the light become night around me,”
the night will shine like the day,