The cooler temperatures are taking their toll on the view in my backyard. This foliage was so dense just a couple of weeks ago that you couldn’t see through it at all. So many changes so quickly. That roofline you see sports dormer windows that I’m sure I’ll be able to see into when the lights are on. I’m sure that they will also be able to see into my windows when my lights are on.
I’m not sure what these particular trees are but they aren’t falling gracefully. The leaves are a sticky grey brown, making quite a mess of my backyard. They stick to us, to the dog, and subsequently are tracked into the house. I can never seem to stay on top of the mess they are creating. I look around at my floors and think, “what’s the point?”
I know when we typically think of fall, we think of beautiful colors and leaves gracefully floating on cool breezes. But sometimes the fall isn’t at all graceful or beautiful. Sometimes it’s sticky and grey and brown. And we drag that mess into our tidy lives and spend so much time picking up after ourselves while never really making any headway. Trying to hide the messes that we actually are so that everything looks as we think it should. Or as we think everyone expects it to be. But who are we kidding? That mess sticks to us; there’s no getting away from it unscathed.
What would happen if we let our guard down and actually embraced the mess? Turned the lights on and actually let someone take a good hard look inside. Let someone help us pick up the pieces falling down around us or pull those sticky, ugly grey brown leaves out of our hair. While they may get a little dirty as well, we may find that we aren’t the only ones with messes that need to be shared.
It won’t be too long before those trees are bare. And if I care to take the time to look, I will be able to see in those windows. Will I have the courage to turn my lights on and invite others to look into my messiness? Will I have the courage to really look into theirs? To be willing to sit with them in the midst of whatever is falling around them. To maybe get a little dirty picking the leaves out of someone’s hair.
Yes, we need the falls in our lives to make room for new and beautiful things. The dying is inevitable. We need to have the courage to let go. As difficult as it may be, we need to trust that sometimes we have to be laid bare in order to be made new.