How do you wrap up a year you wish had never taken place? How do you find any good things in a year filled with heartache and loss? Broken promises and shattered trust? I don’t doubt that there have been good things that have happened, it just seems that the scales are weighted on the side of broken.

I’ll let my 5 most read posts speak for themselves…

5) Genie, You’re Free
“When all of our hope has slipped through our fingers, when we have nothing else to hold onto, all we want is to be free. Because the end of hope really is where hell begins. And none of us want to live a life in hell. We need you to accept that life is not black and white. That there are no simple answers. that we can’t pray this away. We need you to understand that until you walk a mile in our shoes, you really have no idea what you are talking about.

We need you to walk alongside us, to love us without judgment. To walk with us for help. We need to know that we are not alone…”

4) Tu Me Manques
“Love makes knots; love brutally tears them apart. I have been knotted. I have been torn apart.”
Virginia Woolf

3) Living at the Edge
“It’s in these margins that we can speak our truth. It’s here that we see Jesus as he really is. He’s the one who stoops down and writes quietly in the sand at our feet while those who would judge us look on. He takes the time to sit with us by the wells that are brimming with our mistakes, our addictions, our anger, our bitterness, and our depression. He loves us enough to simply be with us in our brokenness. He accepts us just as we are. He wraps us in arms of Grace. His breath against our cheek, hope whispered. He never promised us that everything would be perfect. He only promised that he would never leave us nor forsake us.


2) Longing for Grace
There have been many more things over the years that have contributed to the reasons I’m not in church this morning. The above was only the beginning. Where judgment and legalism took root in my soul and haunt me to this very day. The place where the trappings of religion wrapped themselves around my heart and have slowly been strangling the life right out of me.

And I know I’m not the only one. I see stories every day of those who have suffered abuse at the hands of the church. In the name of a denomination. In the name of reputation. In the name of legalism. In the name of judgment. In the name of religion. All under the guise of being in the name of Christ.”


1) Following the Ache
“But there’s another side to justice. In the bible we see that justice also deals with benefits given to those in need; the widow, the orphan, the poor, the sick. In these instances, justice looks a lot like love and grace. And aren’t we all in need at one time or another? Even those who have hurt us. Especially when they have done everything in their power to make things right. They are in need of the exact same love and grace that we expect for ourselves.


But it’s just too damn hard sometimes…”

I’m also going to include my least read post of this last year. It was the closing piece I wrote for my guest series on Hope. It really captures the essence of what this year has been about for me.

 

When Hope Escapes Me
“Sometimes when you can’t find your own way it’s okay to get lost in someone else’s story. To find that me too moment and hold on for dear life. Sometimes that’s all we can muster. Grabbing onto the hope someone else extends to us in their story.

When hope escapes me, I’ll find refuge in your stories. I’ll grab the lifeline you throw me and hold on for dear life…”


That last sentence, “I’ll grab the lifeline you throw me and hold on for dear life…”, really does say it all. I feel as if that’s all I have been capable of this past year. Holding on. Barely sometimes, but holding on nonetheless. Thank you for being that lifeline. For all of the encouragement, your love and your understanding. For sitting with me in the ugly, broken places. I wouldn’t have made it without you!

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