I got an email from church the other day asking me to take part in an anonymous online survey. They wanted to know where I was on my spiritual journey in order to meet me there and walk alongside me.


They wanted to know . . .

  • If in the last year if I have moved forward, remained the same or moved further away in my quest towards Christlikeness.
  • If my spiritual journey is about exploring, growing, being close to or being Christ-centered.
  • If I have a person in my life that helps me grow toward Christlikeness. A spiritual friend, a spiritual mentor, a spiritual coach, a spiritual director or someone else who is helping me.
Each section of these questions came with handy dandy definitions of what all of these things look like. But you know what was missing? A place for me to explain my neatly filled in bubbles next to the answers. A place for me to be real and personal and messy.

Yes, I’ve moved forward in my quest towards Christlikeness. Probably not because I necessarily would have chosen to but because life dealt me a whole bunch of shit to wade through. Because the only choices I had were to give up or depend totally and completely on Him. So my journey this last year has been about exploring what being like Christ is really about, growing towards Him and hopefully staying close to Him. Being Christ-centered, I’m learning, is part of the journey and not the destination.

I wish the church would stop trying to force things like community and authenticity. Stop trying to be cool and hip – either that’s who you are or it’s not. Just be. Be about grace. Be available to walk alongside me and wade through my shit with me. Who said life would be a walk in the park? Who said it was going to be easy? Or pretty? Or safe? True grace rarely is.


If I Was Jesus
 Chuck Cannon/Phil Madeira
If I was Jesus, I’d have some real long hair
A robe and some sandals, is exactly what I’d wear
I’d be the guy at the party, turnin’ water to wine
Yeah me and my disciples, we’d have a real good time.
If I was Jesus, I’d have some friends that were poor
I’d run around with the wrong crowd, man I’d never be bored
Then I’d heal me a blind man, get myself crucified
By politicians and preachers, who got somethin’ to hide.
If I was Jesus, I’d come back from the dead
And I’d walk on the water, just to mess with your head
I’d know your dark little secrets, I’d look right in your face
And I’d tell you I love you, with Amazing Grace.
Ooh and I’d lay my life down for you and I’d show you who’s the boss
I’d forgive you and adore you while hangin’ on your cross
If I was Jesus.
This is the Jesus I want. The one who was so charismatic that men and women alike gave up their entire lives to follow him. The one who was invited to everyone’s parties. The one who was fun to be around.
The one who hung around the wrong crowd because that’s where he was needed. The one who genuinely loved those in the wrong crowd. {Because how many times have I found myself in that crowd?}
But most of all, I want the Jesus who knows all of the dark little secrets in all of the very dirty corners of my soul and loves me anyway! I want the Jesus who was willing to lay down his life for me and hang on my cross because he forgives me and adores me. Who maybe did walk on the water just to mess with my head!



Leave a Reply