I know we have all seen the stories surrounding the latest with the Duggars. You can’t connect to social media without being bombarded by it. Everyone has their opinions and aren’t afraid of expressing them. The comment sections are particularly brutal in many cases on both sides of the coin.

Why can’t we forgive and forget?

Haven’t we all sinned?

Didn’t we all do something as 14yr. olds we are ashamed of and wouldn’t want to see made public?

All sin is the same in the eyes of God. He has forgiven Josh, so should we. After all, it was a long time ago.

He was only a child when it happened.

Let those without sin cast the first stone.

He said he was sorry...

In his official statement of apology, Josh Duggar also says, “I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life.”

The thing that bothers me the most, and that none of these statements takes into account, is what has happened to the victims. Their childhood was ripped away from them; their innocence stolen in a moment. How in those moments of “acting inexcusably” their lives were forever altered. Altered in ways you could never understand. Physically, mentally, behaviorally, and spiritually. These are things they will deal with for the rest of their lives. The will carry this with them into relationships with friends, with family, with authority figures, with the church, and for many of them, with spouses and children.

Statements like those above are dismissive of victims. Period.

Please be mindful of that the next time you want to post to Fb or Twitter; the next time you want to comment on someone else’s post or article. Unless you have been a victim or are walking the hellish road of healing with someone who has been molested, you have NO IDEA how hurtful and dismissive your words and attitudes can be

Be a safe place for them to fall. Let them know you are there for them no matter what. No judgement. No platitudes or quick fixes. If you don’t understand, say so. Help them find someone that does. Someone trained to deal with what has happened to them. Cry with them. Hold them if that’s what they need. Sit with them in the sorrow and anger. Mourn the things they lost with them. Be strong for them. Be the light in their darkness.

National Sexual Assault Hotline
(Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)

This article has 1 comments

  1. Kenny Ray Pierce Reply

    Carol, this is a caring approach to this ongoing tragedy – one that reaches far beyond this scandal, unfortunately, and replays itself for so many in everyday life. I'm a firm believer that atonement reaches beyond the "I'm sorry" to the "what can I do to make this right." And that means all of us. The victims must never, ever be left to fend with their memories, as you rightly point out.

    Thank you for offering the pointers, and the wise words! Blessings.

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