Really. It does.
Everybody, myself included, said to pay attention. Be present in every moment because it will be gone before you know it.
There are some seasons though, where it’s all you can do to stay present. To cherish every moment. Some seasons aren’t your thing. Babies, toddlers, terrible twos, threes or 15’s. And that’s okay. Keep doing the best you can.
All those moments, those seasons, create a lifetime.
A lifetime that’s over in the blink of an eye. Then, before you’re ready and long after he is, you are leaving him 4 hours away at his dream university. Left to tend to his own life and his own laundry. And all his own business.
My time with him is done. Or at least this chapter is. I’ve helped mold him into the young man he has become. I don’t know what frightens me more, the fact that I may not be ready for this, or the fact that he is more than.
This note he wrote to his senior class on August 26, 2015 shows he was ready even then.
“We are always talking about change, right now its’s about what college we are going to, or what the next chapter of our lives will hold. It’s crazy to think that in a year everything will be different; no more 7:26-2:32 school days, no more seeing people you’ve spent the last 12+ years with every day, no more pep rallies and football games. Friendships will be broken, and a new chapter in our lives will begin. Let’s stop all the talk. Let’s enjoy every single moment of senior year. Talk to the guy/girl you think is cute, apologize if you’ve hurt somebody in the past because it may be the last time you ever see them. Go to sporting events, join clubs, get involved. It may make goodbye harder, but we are a family, whether you like it or not, and we should act like one! It’s the end of a chapter; let’s make it one we will never forget!”
I want to call him every day. Make sure his laundry is done. His room is clean. That going to class is a priority. That he is making the best decisions he can. But he’s too busy for me most days. He’s making new friends. He’s making new memories with childhood friends who are now his roommates. The young men who will share more of his life than I will over the course of the next four years. That makes it completely okay that I’ve
stalked/looked at their Instagram and Twitter feeds. Yes, I admit, I am a Social Media Stalker. Don’t judge, you know you’ve done the same!
I miss him more than I imagined I would. I miss sending that text after midnight saying ‘you need to be heading home.’ Waiting for the thump, thump of the bass in music I am too old for blasting from his car stereo, telling me it’s ok to close my eyes. I miss the ‘Mother I love you so much’ that always came before he asked me to bring him the gas can for the umpteenth time. I miss everything. How funny he is, how easy it is to pull one over on him. I miss game nights – one of the things he insisted on when all seven of us were together.
Home Away from Home
I simply miss him being here.
My funny, engaging boy who never fails to keep us laughing. Everything he does he does with abandon; he’s all in with his whole heart. College will be no different. I’m pretty sure he’s going to handle this whole adult thing just fine.
And for all you parents sending kids off into adulthood, rest easy knowing you did the best you could and that’s enough. They are more than ready for this next chapter; jumping in with both feet. And that’s a very good thing. Be proud of them. Be proud of yourselves for making it to this moment relatively unscathed. Also, when you’re at your favorite Mexican restaurant, know that its perfectly normal to start crying in your tacos when you think about how much you miss them. They miss you too, they simply may not realize it yet.
Oh, and by the way, Roll Tide!